There’s a conversation I keep having, over and over, in intake after intake. Smart, accomplished, genuinely good people sitting across from me, or on a call telling me some version of the same story. They’re exhausted. Not just tired. Hollowed out. And when I ask them what’s getting in the way of their dating life, the answer almost never starts with “I haven’t met the right person.” It starts with work.

Here’s what’s actually happening when dating professionals refuse to criticize the apps: they’re being lazy. They don’t want to alienate a potential audience. They don’t want to seem out of touch or anti-technology. So they soften their message, hedge their criticism, and quietly let a broken culture keep running. Meanwhile, real people (their clients, their followers) are continuing to outsource their love lives to algorithms that don’t care if they ever find what they’re looking for.

Dating in 2026 shouldn’t feel like a second job, but for most people, it does. You’re managing multiple apps, crafting opening messages that walk the line between clever and try-hard, squeezing first dates into an already-packed week, and then doing the emotional labor of showing up as your best self for a total stranger. And that’s before the ghosting, the situationships, and the “what are we” conversations that never seem to land.