How I Scout for Singles as a Matchmaker
Founder of Met By Nick and Matchmaker Nick Rosen
Though our “romantic” culture is dominated by dating apps, it might surprise you to learn that some of the best matches aren’t swiping at all. As a matchmaker, my job isn’t just about introductions — it’s about recognizing who is actually relationship-ready and understanding the subtle green flags that make someone stand out in real life.
While many people feel lost in modern dating, the truth is: quality singles are everywhere — you just have to know what to look for.
Where I Find the Best Singles
People often ask me, “Where do you even find people to match?” The answer: everywhere.
Some of my go-to places to scout for singles include:
Introductions through friends — People trust me with their single friends for a reason. If someone has great social connections, chances are they have qualities that make them a strong partner.
Restaurants — How someone interacts with waitstaff says a lot about their character. Are they polite, patient, and engaged? That’s a green flag.
Jazz clubs and concerts — Someone who enjoys live music and isn’t afraid to go out solo or with friends tends to have confidence and personality.
Museums and galleries — Patience, curiosity, and the ability to appreciate something in the moment? That’s the kind of presence that carries over into relationships.
Religious services (of various faiths) — Many people seek partners who share values and a sense of community. Attending services shows commitment, introspection, and deeper connection.
And these are just a few spots. I’ve scouted singles on planes, subways, at the zoo — anywhere people show their true selves.
What Instantly Catches My Attention
Scouting isn’t just about finding singles — it’s about noticing what makes someone stand out beyond looks or surface-level charm.
Here’s what I pay attention to:
✅ Confidence without arrogance — Do they carry themselves well? Do they engage in conversations with ease? Confidence that feels natural is attractive.
✅ How they handle small interactions — Watching how someone speaks to strangers (waitstaff, cashiers, or even lost tourists) gives insight into their personality.
✅ Do they have presence? — Are they in the moment, engaged in what’s happening around them? Someone glued to their phone at a social event isn’t giving off the best first impression.
✅ How they treat their friends — If someone makes their friends laugh, listens well, and shows loyalty, that’s a great sign for relationships too.
✅ Passion for something — Whether it’s music, film, or a niche hobby, passion makes someone more interesting.
The Small Things That Made Me Take Mental Notes
Some of the most memorable singles I’ve scouted stood out because of unexpected little details — the things that signal relationship readiness in ways they don’t even realize.
Here are a few moments that stuck with me:
1️⃣ They instinctively walked on the street side of the sidewalk. A small but natural habit that shows consideration.
2️⃣ They could talk for 10 minutes about their favorite 1970s film directors. Passion + depth = engaging conversations.
3️⃣ They smoothly split a group bill at a restaurant without drama. Financially responsible, socially aware, and a problem-solver.
4️⃣ They casually adjusted the pace of their walk to match the person they were with. Subtle, but shows awareness and consideration.
5️⃣ They called their grandma just to check in. Then roasted her for cheating at cards. Thoughtful, family-oriented, and funny.
It’s never just about looks, status, or an impressive job title — it’s about how someone moves through the world.
What This Means for You
Most people go on dates focused on whether the other person likes them rather than noticing who is actually worth their time.
If you want to find someone amazing:
Pay attention to the small things. Green flags aren’t loud — they’re subtle.
Be more present in social situations. The best connections happen when you’re engaged, not distracted.
Expand where you look. You won’t meet someone new if you keep going to the same places or relying only on apps.
And if you’re struggling to find real connection? That’s where I come in.
At Met By Nick, I specialize in intentional matchmaking — helping singles meet people who align with their values, personality, and relationship goals. If you’re ready to date differently, let’s talk.
📩 Visit metbynick.com to learn more about my matchmaking process and to join my singles network for free.
