Stop Blaming the Opposite Sex for Why You’re Single
Disclaimer: Most of the people I work with are pleasant individuals who face genuine obstacles when it comes to finding a compatible partner. This article isn’t about them. I’m addressing those I’ve heard from recently who have said some of the most offensive commentary towards the opposite sex and have complete unchecked aggression.
The level of ignorance and lack of self-awareness in modern dating is absolutely mind-boggling. And nowhere is this more apparent than in the pathetic, irritating chorus of single people complaining about the opposite sex.
You know what’s exhausting? Listening to grown adults rant about how terrible women are. You know what’s equally annoying? Hearing women trash all men as if half the population is fundamentally broken.
It’s pathetic. It’s embarrassing. And it’s a massive advertisement for exactly why these people are still single.
The Blame Game Never Ends
As a matchmaker, I’m completely tired of this toxic cycle. Men complaining about women. Women complaining about men. Everyone pointing fingers at everyone else while refusing to look in the mirror.
Both sides have their convenient scapegoats locked and loaded, ready to deploy at a moment’s notice.
Men: You’re not single because of incels ruining your reputation. You’re not a victim of dating apps giving women too many options. Post-modern feminism didn’t destroy dating. Women’s standards aren’t the problem.
Women: You’re not single because “all men are trash.” The supposed scarcity of “emotionally available” men isn’t why your dating life is failing. Men’s fear of commitment didn’t ruin your chances at love.
These are comfortable lies you tell yourself to avoid confronting the real issue: you’re the problem.
Scapegoating Your Own Failures
When single people choose to rant and rave about how terrible the opposite sex is, they’re not making insightful social commentary. They’re scapegoating their own lack of ability to see that they need to adjust themselves.
Not to accommodate others in some doormat sense, but to be more selfless instead of selfish.
The single men who constantly complain about women? They’re usually entitled, self-absorbed, and completely lacking in self-awareness. They want everything on their terms with minimal effort, then blame women when it doesn’t work out.
The single women who endlessly trash men? Same story, different gender. They want someone to slot perfectly into their life, meet their checklist, and accommodate their situation, then act shocked when no one’s interested.
We Live in a Completely Entitled Dating Culture
This is the heart of the problem: we’ve created a dating culture where everyone thinks they deserve a partner while offering nothing of substance in return.
People walk around with mental lists of what they’re owed, what they require, what they won’t tolerate; all while never asking the most important question: What am I actually bringing to someone else’s life?
The entitlement is staggering. And as a matchmaker who hears this directly from people every single day, I’m completely done with it.
The Self-Awareness Crisis
Here’s the most mind-boggling part: these people genuinely don’t see it.
They’ll write entire manifestos about how women are gold-diggers or men are emotionally unavailable, and they’re completely blind to the fact that their rant itself is the red flag. They’re advertising their toxicity while thinking they’re dropping truth bombs.
The lack of self-awareness required to publicly complain about an entire gender and not realize you’re exposing exactly why you’re struggling to date; is truly stunning.
Your Excuses Are Garbage
Let’s be crystal clear: the excuses you’re clinging to aren’t the reason you’re single.
For men: You’re not being overlooked because women only want the top 1% of earners. “Body positivity for women but not for men” isn’t your problem. The idea that women have it easier in dating is irrelevant to your situation. Blaming online dating for giving women too much power is just deflection.
For women: You’re not struggling because “men can’t handle a strong woman.” The idea that all the good ones are taken isn’t true. Men supposedly only wanting younger women isn’t why you’re alone. Complaining that men don’t know how to plan dates or pursue properly is missing the point.
For everyone: Stop blaming your generation. Stop blaming technology. Stop blaming cultural shifts or societal changes. These massive, external forces aren’t personally targeting you, they affect everyone, and plenty of people are still finding relationships.
The real issue? While you’re busy crafting elaborate theories about what’s wrong with the opposite sex, you’re completely ignoring what’s wrong with you. You’re so focused on why others aren’t good enough that you’ve never stopped to ask if you’re good enough for anyone else.
These narratives are comfortable because they remove all responsibility from you. But they’re also why you’re still single.
What Actually Needs to Change
Stop blaming. Start looking inward.
Ask yourself:
Am I actually enjoyable to be around?
Do I add value to other people’s lives, or do I just take?
Am I working on my issues, or am I just projecting them onto everyone else?
Would I want to date someone exactly like me?
Because if you’re spending your energy complaining about how terrible men or women are, you’ve already revealed everything anyone needs to know about why you’re single.
It’s not incels. It’s not the apps. It’s not hookup culture or modern dating or whatever boogeyman you’ve latched onto.
It’s you. Your selfishness. Your entitlement. Your complete inability to see that the common denominator in all your failed relationships is staring back at you in the mirror.
The Uncomfortable Truth
If you’re ranting about the opposite sex online, you’re not revealing truths about them, you’re revealing truths about yourself.
And what you’re revealing is exactly why no one wants to date you.
You’re selfish when you need to be selfless. You’re entitled when you should be grateful. You’re blaming others when you should be changing yourself.
Time to Grow Up
We need to collectively reject this bratty, entitled approach to dating. Stop treating relationships like transactions where you’re the customer and everyone else exists to meet your needs.
Start recognizing that successful relationships are built by people who focus on what they can give, not what they can get.
And for the love of everything, stop embarrassing yourself by publicly complaining about entire genders. Or else you’ll simply look like an imbecile.
